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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28116894">Still Dean Winchester</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/endlessfandoms/pseuds/endlessfandoms'>endlessfandoms</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angel Castiel (Supernatural), Castiel and Dean Winchester Need to Use Their Words, Castiel and Dean Winchester in Love, Fluff, Genderless Castiel (Supernatural), Light Angst, M/M, Pining, Saileen deserved better, Something to Say, Supernatural - Freeform, They Silenced You, brief mention of Saileen, lyric imagine, they silenced them</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 23:27:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,802</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28116894</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/endlessfandoms/pseuds/endlessfandoms</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel is in love with Humanity.<br/>and by Humanity, i mean Dean Winchester.<br/>but that didn't really need clarification, did it?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Destiel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Still Dean Winchester</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hi hello this is my first ever publish on Ao3 so this is exciting :,) I hope y'all like this and if so, consider giving it a kudos?<br/>i also posted this on my wattpad (mr-pinkman) in case you want to save it there too. stay safe, lovelies!<br/>^ = lyrics<br/>~ dt: to all my Destiel shippers who love them as much as I do &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>- author's note -</p><p>1). i'm using they/them pronouns for Cass unless Sam or Dean says he/him since Cass is technically genderless.</p><p>2). this is taking place somewhere between season 15 episodes/before 15x18.</p><p>3). i ramble in some of these so i apologize if not all of it doesn't really relate to itself.</p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>Castiel, an Angel of the Lord.<br/>
Castiel, a rebel against their Creator's wishes.<br/>
Castiel, a celestial being.<br/>
Castiel, millions of years old.<br/>
Castiel, in love with humanity.<br/>
Castiel, in love with a human.</p><p> ^ I sit and watch you reading with your head low ^</p><p>the angelic being stands in the corner of the bunker's library, eyes glued to the man sitting at the table reading intently. neither of them flinch, even as Dean flips the page of his book. not even when Sam wanders in with his laptop, "hey, so get this-" he continues rambling on about lore on a new creature they'd stumbled upon, not glancing at either Dean or Cass until he realizes neither said anything. he turns to Castiel first, catching their eyes finally tear away from Dean as their cheeks flush a little and Sam smiles at the angel softly, understanding immediately. Sam puts his laptop down on the table across from Dean to continue his rant and Cass' eyes go back to Dean, smiling in their mind as Dean only half-listens to Sam.</p><p> ^ I wake and watch you breathing with your eyes closed ^</p><p>Cass watches the older hunter sleep after a particularly difficult hunt, stomach twisting slightly as they look over all the parts of Dean they loved the most. they loved everything about the human, but there's no shame in having favourites, right? Cass can still hear all the shit said about them and the hunter having a more 'profound bond' by literally anyone that knew anything about the pair, and it made their fists clench. if only Dean realized...</p><p> ^ I sit and watch you, I notice everything you do or don't do ^</p><p>with a bit of help from Sam, Cass is able to make breakfast for Dean. knocking on Dean's door softly, Cass hears him answer with a mumble, so they open the door to see him sitting up against the headboard, "good morning, Dean. how did you sleep?" they ask, moving to the end of his bed. Dean rubs his eyes with the heel of his palms before looking to Cass, "er, well it was the night after a hunt so what do you think?" Cass nodded understandingly, smiling a little as they heard the grogginess in his voice. "well, i made you breakfast-" they mention, grabbing the food tray from the doorway, then bring it to Dean's bed with an invisible blush to their cheeks. Dean sighs happily, immediately picking the mug of coffee up to hold it between his hands, "thanks, Cass. it looks good." his eyes flick to the angel's as he looks like he wants to say something else, but he just stays quiet. Cass nods a bit, then awkwardly excuses themself, closing the door behind them, leaving Dean to ponder on everything that happened.</p><p> ^ You're so much older and wiser and I<br/>
I wait by the door like I'm just a kid ^</p><p>Sam knew about Cass' feelings but kept quiet as per Cass' request. they didn't want to pressure Dean into anything before he was ready and it was better that way. Dean Winchester may be human, but humans can only take so much before they break. Cass didn't want to hurt Dean, so they just take care of him the best they can when the boys finish a hunt, whether it be picking up take out or healing wounds. they wanted to take care of Dean. it wasn't like the feelings were forced. hell, if it were so easy to pick and choose who you fell in love with, Cass can't imagine they would've chosen to pursue a relationship that effectively made them gay. that's pressure they didn't want to put on Dean.</p><p> ^ Use my best colors for your portrait<br/>
Lay the table with the fancy shit<br/>
And watch you tolerate it ^</p><p>Cass punches the vampire right in the nose, making it fall back onto the floor, then they rest a hand on its head and watch as their grace kills it. 'that's for hurting Dean, assbutt.' they think in their head, "thanks for saving my sorry ass, Cass." Dean groans, holding a hand to his head to see blood dripping down his forehead, "you don't need to thank me, Dean." Cass murmurs, moving to Dean. hovering their hand over his forehead, they heal his wound and his injured hands which were also bloody and bruised. "still, i was in trouble and you took care of it, so thanks." Dean stands up and starts heading back to Baby, "c'mon, we'll call Sam on the drive back to the bunker."</p><p> ^ If it's all in my head tell me now<br/>
Tell me I've got it wrong somehow<br/>
I know my love should be celebrated<br/>
But you tolerate it ^</p><p>"hey Cass." Dean pats the angel on the back as he sits across from him at the kitchen table, sitting his bottle of beer down on the table. "hello Dean." Cass' voice was soft as they smiled at the hunter. "wanted to talk to you about something." his eyes meet Castiel's, their mind now questioning every aspect of their life. Cass gives him a barely noticeable nod to show they were listening, so Dean continues, "what's uh... what's love and romance like? in heaven, i mean." Dean clears his throat, taking what seemed to be a nervous drink of his beer. Cass just watches him, eyes wide before they open their mouth a little, "i- uhm," they swallow as they lean forward on the table, "well..."</p><p> ^ I greet you with a battle hero's welcome ^</p><p>by the time the bunker door opened and Dean's heavy footsteps stumble in, Cass was already in the map room staring up at him, "hello Dean, how was-" they stop abruptly as Dean holds an index finger up at them, "don't, talk. my head is pounding." they frown a little as they watch him clumsily walk down the stairs, grip on the railing tight enough to make his knuckles go white, "i'm just- i need sleep." Dean grumbles, not sparing Cass another glance before going down the hall to his room, leaving the angel a little disappointed and wondering if Dean still would have snapped if they'd said something else.</p><p> ^ I take your indiscretions all in good fun<br/>
I sit and listen, I polish plates until they gleam and glisten<br/>
You're so much older and wiser and I<br/>
I wait by the door like I'm just a kid<br/>
Use my best colors for your portrait<br/>
Lay the table with the fancy shit<br/>
And watch you tolerate it<br/>
If it's all in my head tell me now<br/>
Tell me I've got it wrong somehow<br/>
I know my love should be celebrated<br/>
But you tolerate it ^ </p><p>for millions of years, Cass had never loved like right now. the fact that they were a celestial being and just now madly in love (with a human, no less) had to be someone pretty special to the angel. if they were honest, it kind of scared them a little... if you were alive for many millennia without loving someone, then suddenly fall for someone that will someday die, you'd be scared too, right? the thing holding them back was Dean himself. what if Dean didn't feel the same? what if Dean hated Cass because if it? plus, Cass knew for a fact that Dean had probably never even considered the fact of being with a male vessel enough to feel comfortable with it. Sam has talked to Cass about it; he'd seen the signs of Dean being attracted to men too and hinted at it multiple times to his brother, but Dean never spoke of it. never even really acknowledged the mentions, just changed the subject. Castiel couldn't say they blamed Dean. he was taught to suppress emotions and soldier on no matter what. a lifetime of that will mess with your head, especially with a father like John Winchester, so another lifetime of trying to rewire your mind was rather obvious and easily accepted to the angel. there was also the fact Sam had told Cass that Dean didn't know angels could even experience romantic feelings like humans, which made their situation all the more difficult to talk about. Cass was perfectly content waiting for their human. sometimes they wished they could just kiss Dean, but then they thought, 'at least i have the honour to know Dean Winchester. he can have all the time in the world.' why ruin what they had now just for them to be an official 'thing'? Cass' thoughts ran 24/7, and it didn't help that they didn't typically sleep (the exception being if their vessel was chewed through every drop of energy). maybe someday they'll speak up about their feelings for Dean Winchester, but right now, Castiel was just happy to know that he was alive. Castiel thanks every possible deity known every day for Dean Winchester. they were proud to know him.</p><p> ^ While you were out building other worlds, where was I?<br/>
Where's that man who'd throw blankets over my barbed wire?<br/>
I made you my temple, my mural, my sky<br/>
Now I'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life<br/>
Drawing hearts in the byline<br/>
Always taking up too much space or time<br/>
You assume I'm fine<br/>
But what would you do if I ^</p><p>Castiel, the angel who would sacrifice themself for the man that they loved.<br/>
Castiel, the punished, beaten, shamed, rejected celestial being for taking the fall for Dean Winchester.<br/>
Castiel, the one who saved their soulmate from Hell and expecting nothing in return.<br/>
Castiel, bruised and bloody, no matter where they were in the universe, would always come back to Dean.<br/>
Castiel, taken apart and put back together too many times.</p><p> ^ Break free and leave us in ruins<br/>
Took this dagger in me and removed it<br/>
Gain the weight of you then lose it<br/>
Believe me, I could do it<br/>
If it's all in my head tell me now<br/>
Tell me I've got it wrong somehow<br/>
I know my love should be celebrated<br/>
But you tolerate it<br/>
I sit and watch you ^</p><p>the celestial being just watched Dean Winchester from afar as their heart ached for the hunter. Sam would look to them once in a while with sad eyes, not knowing how to help as Eileen sat in the seat next to him. Cass could never and will never leave Dean. Dean may be broken and twisted and angry, but still beautiful. still Dean Winchester.</p>
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